March 28, 2012

Reviewing my list to prevent awkward (unhealthy) relationships…

Posted in dating, Relationships tagged , , , , , at 2:55 am by singlyoutrageous

My therapist suggested in our last session that I pull out my list to identify a good relationship and see where D stands on said list. Back to my post from March 5th

  1. Shows compassion towards me {D expresses on a daily basis his excitement to see me, or when with me that he is enjoying our time together}
  2. Has a sense of humor {D has this one nailed- we share the same sense of humor}
  3. Is family oriented {He comes to his hometown for dinner every Saturday night with his parents- need I say more?}
  4. Is respectful of me and my opinions {Absolutely, and doesn’t care that I’m not into politics}
  5. Trustworthy {This is one that takes time to realize, but from what I’ve seen so far, I think he is}
  6. A good communicator {D is not a good communicator, he is a great one- he’s not afraid to tell me very personal things about himself, and not afraid to ask me very insightful questions. AND he responds to ALL of my texts!}
  7. Physical attraction {oh yeah}
  8. Has an active lifestyle {Goes to the gym- that’s good enough for me}
  9. Shared interests {This I’m not entirely sure of yet either- when it comes to which television shows we watch, we are completely off mark. But we do share a weird interest for grammar and both love baked goods…}
  10. Has a good work ethic {Has two, soon to be three jobs- so yep}

My “deal-breakers” were:

  1. Has to want children {We haven’t talked specifically about this, but he is aware that I have a child and has not asked me to give her up for adoption}
  2. No smoking or recreational drugs {no drugs, quit smoking three months ago}
  3. Willing to commit! {Stated specifically on our second date that he is willing to commit to a serious relationship if he meets the right person. His track record may say otherwise though}

So he’s looking pretty good. Obviously it takes time to gain someone’s trust, so that’s a difficult one. Shared interests are also iffy, but I think it would be great to gain new interests myself, and to share some of mine with him.

Another item of importance: On our very first date D quoted a line from Robin William’s character in Good Will Hunting. We had been talking about being “picky” when it came to dating and he paraphrased from the movie: “It’s not about finding the perfect girl- the question is whether or not you’re perfect for each other.” This has stuck with me. It’s absolutely true.


  1. Paula said,

    D sounds awesome for you! I’m having the hardest time finding a man who can communicate AT ALL. It’s just bizarre. They seem to flat-out refuse. I have one guy from Match playing WwF with me on my phone, but he’s not saying anything otherwise (no more emails, nothing). I just don’t know what it is.

  2. Ah, I really like that quote. It’s so true!

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