April 4, 2012

Homework assignment: A comparison between two guys…

Posted in dating, Relationships, therapy tagged , , , , , , , , , , at 12:18 am by singlyoutrageous

Before I begin, I have been compiling a short list of what I like about D:

A few of the things I like about D…

He is intelligent, kind, funny, sarcastic, sexy, caring, non-judgmental, very open with his feelings, expresses interest in things I care about and wants to share things that he cares about with me.

In another post I blogged about where D stacks up on my list of qualities for a good relationship.  My other “homework” assignment from my therapist was to compare where my relationships with R and D fell in relation to each other, so I have compiled a timeline of sorts for said comparison. I have basically mapped out what the general gist of the date was, then if anything very significant occurred the same night.

Timeline comparison between R and D (going by number of dates, not number of weeks)



First Date Coffee Drinks- told me he only dates exclusively
Second Date Dinner/Drinks Coffee/Drinks
Third Date Lunch/Movie Lunch
Fourth Date His Place-make out Coffee/Drinks
Fifth Date Drinks/His Place (sex-kind of?) (4 weeks in) Drinks
Sixth Date Dinner Dinner/showed me where he works/Drinks
Seventh Date His Place-sex-found out we’re not dating exclusively Movie w/ my friends- make out- told me he canceled his match account
Eighth Date His Place-“No sex” conversation TBD (His place- maybe sex) (4 weeks in)
Ninth Date Awkward Dinner/Movie
Tenth Date His Place-Break-up

Some other notes of interest in comparing these two relationships:

  • Neither guy kissed me until the second date.
  • Went to R’s place on 4th date; haven’t gone to D’s place yet. (Will on 8th date)
  • First make session with R was on 4th date; first make out session with D was on 7th date.
  • First sexual intercourse with R was (technically) 5th date; hasn’t happened with D yet. (But it might on 8th date)
  • Dating exclusively conversation with R on 7th date; dating exclusively conversation with D on 1st date.
  • Knew more about D after 2nd date, then I ever knew about R the entire time we were dating.
  • D asks me out twice as much as R did.

In conclusion, I am obviously pleased with the way things have been going with D. He is a better guy all around, and is plainly interested in me (not me and who knows who else). Even though calendar-wise I’m falling at about the same point for becoming more physical in the relationship, time invested wise is nearly double that with D than R. When looking at each side of the table, I can also be proud that I have been taking things much more slowly with D than with R.

Homework complete- good night all!