April 1, 2012

Awkward make out session…

Posted in dating, Relationships tagged , , , , , , at 9:22 pm by singlyoutrageous

Disclaimer #1: I wrote the following post at approximately 3 am this morning. In my drunken wisdom, I did not publish said post until I was able to go back and edit while sober.

Disclaimer #2: My posts are becoming less and less about awkward dating experiences, and more about awkward relationship experiences. I apologize sincerely if I am becoming more sappy and sentimental. I can’t help it.

I wasn’t going to write anything tonight because I’m still slightly drunk, and very tired, but…. Here I go.  I just got back from my seventh (yay- seventh!) date with D. He met me at the movies where I was with my sister and another couple. We went out afterwards for a few drinks, and then he drove me home. There may have been a lengthy high school-esque make out session outside, on the ground, on a blanket, but all clothes remained in place. The front seat of his car was just too confining. But I digress.

I was just perusing Facebook before I pass out and OMG. Yes- OMG. First I noticed that D tagged me at the bar we were at. I thought, wow that’s kind of sweet. Then I noticed his status update. “You know she’s probably a keeper when she pays for your movie ticket”. Being slightly drunk as I am, I commented “Ha! :)”  I had no idea he was writing these things during our date.

D had actually told me earlier that his mother wanted to know when we were going to make this thing “official” in regards to our dating. I went on to relay how I feel weird about the whole Facebook relationship status business. Obviously, I told him, I wasn’t going to hop on and say “in a relationship with [insert name here]”, but wondered at the same time if I should just state “in a relationship” or at the very least, hide my relationship status so that it isn’t blatantly “single”. I don’t remember his answer to my question, except that he had “jumped the gun” on the Facebook relationship status thing before. So for now, I think I’ll just get rid of the “single”. He also mentioned later on in the night that he canceled his match account.

I’m slowly starting to write more and more in specifics about my relationship with D. It’s because I like him more and more every time I see him. He’s sort of growing on me. In a good way- not in a bad way, like a fungus. However, I am beginning to feel more uncomfortable about blogging about our relationship. He knows that I blog to help cope with my relationships and my life, but I haven’t told him the extent of my blogging- which is primarily about him at this point.

Back to the make out session- as completely awesome as it was, I still felt a little awkward. I absolutely want to be physically involved with him, more and more every day, but once I’m there I sort of don’t know what to do with myself. Something is just holding me back- I’m very conflicted about this. I haven’t ever had a great relationship, let alone a great sexual relationship, so I think the uncertainty of my abilities makes me uncomfortable. I think. It’s very confusing. I am going to his place later this week. And I am prepared to let happen what may. And I am also prepared to inform my therapist of said events at our appointment this week. Yes, I am ready.

D also reiterated tonight how he feels that things are going really well with us, and what we have is something he was not expecting. He told me I could ask him anything, but I could only reply that my brain had turned to mush due to the physical proximity he had to me.

What would I ask him? Any suggestions?

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